Too early to talk about Christmas?

Remember that Amy Grant song,“Grown-up Christmas List,” where she sang about how she wanted a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage (I’m loosely paraphrasing, of course. I think she’s a vegetarian. Actually I just made that up.) Anyway, I started piecing together my own grown-up Christmas list. Gone are the days of wanting Barbie dolls and frilly dresses. Now, as adults we want more practical things. Maybe you want your boss to recognize what a great employee you are, or maybe you want your enigmatic coworker Carl to finally ask you out. Whatever it is, we all have our grown-up Christmas list. Here is mine:

1. I want to be naturally blond. It takes a lot of work (none of which I personally do) to look this good.
2. I want my dad to call me, just to chat. In the past three and half years, he’s called me twice. Once to tell me he did a background check on a guy I was dating, and once to tell me that he was kicking me off of his car insurance. (I broke up with the loser, and I’m currently insured through Geico.) Not exactly a pillar of warmth.
3. I want John and George to come back from the dead, and have a big, giant Beatles reunion. (Although tip of the hat to www.thebeatlesneverbrokeup.com)
   
4. I want to be Liz Lemon. That’s all.
5. I want scientists to discover that cheesecake has incredible weight-loss properties, and I should consume more of it.
6. I want to have beautiful tan skin, without risking skin cancer.
7. I want cars to have front break lights, so you could tell if a car was slowing down or speeding up.
8. I want Meg Ryan to look like she did before all her weird plastic surgery/Botox.
9. I want to teach at East High from High School Musical. (Are they hiring history teachers? How much musical background is actually required? I think Gabriella would be my best student!) And I want HSM to be a documentary, and not a Disney movie.
10. You know, peace on earth, and such.